Board Shirt. ARGH!

So just the other day I received my first Board shirt. Hazzah! Well now I am in a dilemma, I really want to wear it, but I also don't want to freeze to death. The first day I wore it I had on six layers. Undershirt, second Undershirt (you get it right?), then my Board shirt, then a long sleeve button up shirt, then a sweatshirt, and lastly a heavy coat. Who can see the shirt under there? So when I went to my history class, I thought "there are a bunch of people in here, if I just take off all my top layers down to the Board shirt someone is bound to notice." I don't know if anyone did because I almost froze to death right there in the classroom. I also ride my bike to school, so there is no way I can dress lighter. Do you see the predicament? Perhaps if I could get a long sleeved electric sweater that I could fit under my Board shirt, then just carry the battery in my backpack...yeah I can see it now...oh oh or I could get a small solar panel, that might be a little lighter. I once thought "I guess I could wait until spring?" then "Um-no that is the silliest most ridiculous thing, of course I have to wear it now...duh." So the quest continues for the best way to still wear the Board shirt, allowing people to see it, and stay warm. There has to be a way. "[T]he[re] HA[S] to BE!" Yeah I butchered that quote.

Graphing Procrastination

I thought I was the only one to procrastinate. Here in this graphic we have the graphic representation of procrastination in the form of visits to my blog (Graphic from Google Analytics). Tuesday 21 November 2006 AD, last day of class, werfs are furiously finishing projects that they really want to procrastinate. Most likely they already read the Board (if they didn't already stay up late into the night to see the new ones come out), so they are trying to find another outlet for their procrastinational endeavors. Lo and behold they find my blog (nothing but a cheap knock off of the Board if that isn't too pretentious) and spend a few minutes reading about how wonderful the Board really is. Now moving on to Wed 22 November 2006 AD...Werfs are now traveling to, or already with, family. Their homework is far behind them, they no longer have the need to procrastinate as their world is now fill with fun, games, and food. Thus for the Holidays my blog is obsolete; and rightly so. Over the Holiday werfs are concerned about projects being due, yet in lieu of the enjoyment of the festivities and more immediate pressures, homework gets pushed and pushed, until the Holiday is over. Then on Monday 27 November 2006 AD all of a sudden werf is confronted with all of werf's back homework that has been put off. Werf works doggedly...yet it really isn't due until the end of the week...or tomorrow...werf then treats werfself to a little procrastinatory party. But wait werf already read the Board this morning, so werf looks for substitute methods to waste time. Thus we see a dip in the graph where the procrastination is the lowest. I guess that means I can use my blog as a procrastination detector, as I have a serious problem with procrastination. I never really think I am procrastinating; I am just doing the absolute essentials such as, playing Go online, reading the Board often (as in frequently), watching the weather, writing this blog, think of all the beautiful ways in which the Board is an integral and mysteriously alluring part of the cosmos, check my e-mail about 50 times a day (and find nothing), pretend that I am going to make cookies then change my mind at the last possible moment, think of ways that I could discover more Board writer identities, use stumbleupon, play flash games with no purpose for hours on end, go back to the Board, try to think of a really interesting question while reading the archives to make sure it hasn't been asked, crochet new additions to my over-the-helmet beanie, read comics about Go, wonder what it would be like to have a person from the past mysteriously start living in your head (yeah...weird), writing this list...need I go on? The problem is I don't realize that I am procrastinating until several hours have been wasted because all of these items are so essential to daily living. Now I have a foolproof Procrastination detector, the only problem is...now I am going to have to start doing my work. Blast! I guess I will go read the Board really quick before I start working because today looks like it is going to be a procrastinatory one.

Why Wally III (Pronounced Wally the Third)?

Uffish Thought asked if I could post about why my Nym is Wally III. I hope this is satisfactory.

This all starts a very long time ago. My older brother and I would tell stories instead of going to bed. We went on all sorts of adventures just the two of us. We needed names for our characters so he was George and I was Wally. They are great solid names, plus they go good together. We played with Legos and Matchbox cars; the stories changed and evolved, but the names seem to stick. For a while I started drawing a comic that featured a boy who could turn in to a toaster. His arch-nemesis was a half-goat half-man who constantly fought against justice. Go figure toaster-man was Wally, and ironically goat-man was Billy. My good friend an I also started a correspondence, when e-mail was brand new, pretending we were two allied generals trying to keep the Huns back in medieval Europe; The name Wally came back again. Then I started Latin class; I was absolutely entranced with roman numerals, they could make any number look wonderfully sophisticated. When I tried to apply that to my wonderful Wally…Well let me show you try this ‘Wally I’. Uh…no it looks like just an I, plus how are you the first of anything unless there is a second or third? Now this ‘Wally II’; is it a box? Or was it written on a typewriter and the crosspiece of the H got left out? Shouldn’t it be Wally Jr.? But that doesn’t look good either. Finally the wonderful masterpiece of many hours of nerdy thought about a name that isn’t even mine ‘Wally III’. Three is such a symbolic number, the Godhead, Three wheels on a tricycle, the tri-force, third times the charm, a third (as in Ender), three credits in most classes, the triple combination, triple decker anything, and the Tri-Wizard Tournament…need I go on. Everything good comes in threes, so it just makes sense that Wally would come in the third variety. Thus anytime I need to create an identity I have one already prefabricated. Plus I have grown quite fond of the name.

Why do I feel elated, like I have just written my first Board response…only not?

Board Shirt Cont...

HA! The first class I wore my shirt to, a fellow student asked me what the 100 Hour Board was. During our conversation (*Side note: Have any of you tried to sum up the Board in just a minute. I mistakenly thought the "your questions...our answers" would be self explanatory. I can't just sum up the Board in a few seconds, it needs to be experienced.) another student piped in asking me if I wrote for the Board (she had a friend that did), to which I blushed and hung my head with shame (HA! Not really). But Board writers read my blog...How cool is that? I played a game of Go with one, I work with one, I chatted in very poor Welsh to one, I was mentioned on a few Board writers Blogs! How can one be any happier:-) The Board Rox.

My New Board Shirt

I just got a 100 Hour Board Shirt from Yellow. He is the Man! I know you have seen this many times, but this is a picture of my 100 Hour Board Shirt! Yellow said when he gave it to me, "now everyone will think you are a 100 Hour Board writer." I almost dropped my shirt because I hadn't even thought of that. Blimey. I can't wait for the people to ask me..."What is the 100 Hour Board?" or even better "are you Yellow?" I will probably respond like Marty McFly in Back to the Future until I realize that I am wearing my 100 Hour Board Shirt, and that yelling at this poor fellow for calling me chicken, perhaps is not the most appropriate response. I have always been a big fan of the all-mystical "maybe" HA! Everyone needs a little more mystery in their lives, and what better than the 100 Hour Board to provide that mystery. Why do I feel like I should be whispering? Here's to more mystery in our lives, provided free of charge, from the 100 Hour Board!

Thanksgiving for the Board

At Thanksgiving time we all offer up our thanks for the many things in our lives that give us joy and fill our lives with meaning. Along with the usual sentiments that we all express, let us not forget the thanks we all feel for the 100 Hour Board, and those who write for it; Without which we may never have postponed writing our papers or studying our test by reading something so useful and informative. If there was no Board think of all the many hours of procrastination that would be entirely wasted by useless unproductive activities. With the Board werf can be sure that no amount of time spent reading or writing for the Board will ever be wasted. We can still read answers from the writers of years past; we can still gain knowledge from our current writers. We still have the amazing resource from the archives, and we will always have the writers to turn to with those difficult questions that reason alone cannot answer, only through the wit, humor, courage, and dedication of the Board writers can many of our answers come clear. It is almost as if the Board writers sacrifice their lives for the benefit of the readers. Just the other day I played a rousing game of Go with Curious Physics Minor. He took time out of his busy schedule to sit and play Go with a boardie he had never met before; this is the kind of dedication that inspires werfs everywhere to be better people. I am personally searching for a moment when I can do the same, when I can sacrifice a small portion of what I have to make a person of no consequence, such as I, stand a little taller, enjoy life a little more, and seek to pass that kind of light on to those who need it. While thinking the other day about how much the Board means to those involved in reading it, I remembered that the Board writers volunteer their services; no one gets paid a cent. I can't think of a greater service project, and it doesn’t just come around during the holiday season, the Board serves year round. It keeps giving and giving, inspiring others to give, without resting, without compensation, providing a constant source of clean entertainment for everyone who wishes to be a part. I am finally procuring a 100 Hour Board shirt which I will definitely wear it with pride.

Board limerick

There once was a 100 Hour Board
In it all knowledge was stored.
You could search all your life
To the fiddle and fife,
And never see all the rewards.

Three Cheers For Changing The World

Tomorrow is the big day! (RE: Board Question #30286) This made me curious about other boardie/Board writer competitions…Another one I found was a scrabble game between Tangerine and Optimistic.. I couldn’t find anything on how it turned out, but just the fact that it was mentioned made my whole day. I have this image in my head of Board writers getting together and playing scrabble or any other game to some incredible level. It reminds me of a quote from What about Bob? Where Bob, talking about Dr. Leo Marvin says, “We can’t even begin to understand him, he is on such a different level from us. We are like ropes on the Goodyear Blimp.” The interesting thing is the absolute dominance of the Board writers, instead of exacerbating my own inferiority complex; it gives me hope, something to shoot for, and aspire to. I guess it is like having heroes; only these heroes care about us enough to answer all sorts of unenlightened questions in an unpretentious way. Even when criticized and attacked, the general response is “I am just glad that we have readers.” While Board writers don’t have a monopoly on the smart/good person market, they definitely use their powers of humor, wit, intelligence, research, deduction, and understanding, for the collective good of humanity. This then is infused into the general readership, and then spread across the world. I can just see all sorts of people from all sorts of cities and countries going home for the holiday, and spreading this love and intelligence with people they meet. Thus creating exponential growth to positive relations, and perhaps growing the readership of the Board letting the cycle start all over again. As faithful and true as the water cycle, although the changes are small, and over a short period of time unnoticeable, their impression on the world is unmistakable. Three cheers for the Board, and changing the world for good. Hazzah! Hazzah! Hazzah!

Forg...Amnes...Memory Loss.

Dotage runs in my family. I am trying to think of all the things that I can do as a young man to avoid any serious complications from my own dotage, but the only thing I can think that I do enough to have any effect is to read the Board. Most likely that in and of itself is not powerful enough to counter my genes tendency to dote, yet I believe willpower is the key. Unfortunately, for me it is less about willpower and more about the storage of thoughts from short-term memory to long-term memory. This website has another interesting reason for forgetfulness…Boring! When werfs have subjects that bore werf to death, the brain just assumes that werf doesn’t need it. With this being the information age, I can understand why our brains would want all the free space it can have. So the trick is to fill the brain with fun, interesting things…I think I remember a really interesting site…Oh Yeah! The Board! Not only are the questions and answers interesting, but also they help werf think about life more interestingly. Thus, making life more enthralling and amusing improve memory; so all you buffs out there trying to improve your memory…Read the Board! It’s free.

The 100 Hour Board: A Way to Strike Back at Pharmaceutical Companies

After reading quite a few posts about why the 100 Board is so addicting, I tried to find an answer that would make sense to me, and help me feel better about wasting spending time reading the Board. What I found made me want to read the Board more. According this article for every minute you laugh your body produces $10,000 worth of healthy pharmaceuticals. I thought I was poor, but if I can get a couple hundred thousand dollars everyday from reading the Board…that ought to do me pretty good. What wonderful people write for the Board, not only do they volunteer their time providing their readers with a free service; they also pay each werf who reads. Not with money, but with pharmaceuticals that will aid werf’s body and mind, thereby providing each werf who reads the Board a greater ability to achieve success and a longer, healthier life. So for all you werfs out there who snub the Board (I don’t know who would), think about that next time you are at the pharmacy spending big bucks for your pharmaceuticals; perhaps you could get it for free reading the Board. And for all you Board writers, you can feel wonderful for providing students who can hardly pay rent with an invaluable resource unfeasible to purchase, yet putatively beneficial. Thank you 100 Hour Board!

Scaring Boardies? Not Cool.

Let’s just say I really like the 100 Hour Board. I think it is super fun to sit and talk about the questions and answers with like-minded people. I bring up the Board in many of my classes with people that seem like they would read it, but I have not yet had success finding any in my classes.

Imagine my surprise when I sit down at a lab computer only to realize that the person next to me is reading...THE BOARD! This event happened near the end of the day, so I had already read and discussed the Board a few different times. Not wanting to miss out on a chance to meet another Boardie, wanting to flaunt my nerdy knowledge of it, and perhaps meet a writer; I casually sat down.

ME: (as casually as breathing, yet really nervous) “Kind of a disappointing board today.” (she looks up…good now I have time to clarify. If I would have been paying attention her eyes were as wide as saucers.) “Not the Q&As, they are great, and always are, but how few?...I mean, just yesterday there were 61!” (The day of this event I think there were about 20, and reading 20 questions doesn't take very long. The more current posts the better!) I prepare to share with her my favorite Question and Response, and then I get a good look at her face. She looks terrified, almost ready to scream or cry, I'm not sure. I get really confused, and before I have a chance to apologize, or say anything, she logged off the computer and left. I am sorry to you, girl in the computer lab; I never meant to traumatize you. I was just a little too excited in sharing my thoughts about the Board. Next time I might try reading the Board and let them say something if they see me and want to talk about it. I felt like the Santa Clause on A Christmas Story.

ME: “HO! HO! HO! Do you read the Board? What was yooour favorite question? HO! HO! HO!” Just thinking about it gives me the willies. Boardie Rule #1: Don’t freak other boardies out of their minds.

Smart Killer Whales

The Question and Answer of the Board today goes to...Board Question #30472. I nearly ran out of air just reading the question, then The Right Reverend sent me into even greater hysterics with his answer* HA! Perhaps The Right Reverend's answer is even more perceptive than at first glance. What would human kind do to a species that was systematically eating their young? Probably just as The Right Reverend suggested. So in reality the whales are incredibly smart to only hunt species that don't have a history of exterminating other species. Probably the reason why so few creatures naturally attack humans is because we killed all the ones that did. All answers aside they probably don't eat us because we don't taste very good--I mean think about what you ate yesterday--Yuck!

*The other answers were good too.

White and Nerdy

I have a friend who is a math/physics double major. Our conversations are the epitome of nerdiness, we discuss why ice is slippery, why gravitational experiments are flawed, and the number of permutations of possible Go games. My nerdiness goes to an even deeper level, as I crochet, read the 100 Hour Board, discuss literature, and enjoy the usage of interesting words. My friend, however, refuses to accept this nerdiness; he constantly avers that he is normalcy personified. I say "Embrace the Nerdiness!" Trying to skate in the middle of the lake always ends up with werf taking a dunk because the ice is too thin. Sure, wearing a crocheted beanie over my helmet while I am walking across campus is nerdy, but I don't want to carry it, or hook it onto my backpack (I hate it when my helmet clunks around on my bag), the solution that seems to just make sense is to wear it. When you 'Embrace the Nerdiness', werf is then free to do all of those really practical things that would just be too nerdy for regular people to do. Werf is able to take power back from the mob by not allowing them to control werf's actions anymore! Werf is then FREE! So my friends, embrace the nerdiness, and experience the glory of a new world of possibilities.

The 100 Hour Board Changes Lives

Walking around campus I see lots of different people; some tall, some short, beautiful, plain, etc. My first instinct is to place them into a category, not a permanent one, but perhaps one that looks like: 1) I would sit next to them in class, 2) I would not sit next to them in class; or 1) I would go out of my way to get to know them, 2) I would not go out of my way to get to know them. I don't consider myself a 'judgmental' person because I try not to let these things get in the way when I actually sit next to people. While walking in between classes, I find myself watching people. I notice little things about them, but in the few seconds I see them most of what I am able to observe is physical and superficial. Reading the 100 Hour Board changed my attitude, and the way I look at people. I read the Board nearly everyday. In all of my classes I try to find people who read the Board, but more especially I try to find people who write for the Board. Their answers are so witty and smart, they provide me with hours of entertainment (way more than 100 hours), and are people I would want to associate with. The Board writers are anonymous, so I don't know who they are. Anyone that I passed could be one, the annoying kid in my grammar class could be one. The question rings out in my head "WHO ARE YOU 100 HOUR BOARD WRITERS?!" In my head a meeting would go like this:
Me: (sitting down next to werf (definition of werf)) Hey. How's it going?
Undisclosed Board writer: (slightly annoyed, yet polite) Fine.
Me: (thinking) is werf reading JSTOR? Wasn't their a Board writer who read JSTOR for fun? No werf probably just has a paper that werf is writing. (Werf then turns and begins talking with friend about how many years it really would take termites to eat Noah's Ark Board Question #5386) did I just hear werf talk about Board Question #5386? Must be a fellow Board reader! (werf takes off jacket to reveal a 100 Hour Board t-shirt) NO WAY!! Werf is a Writer??! (nonchalant) Hey do y'all read the Board? (Friend starts giggling, and werf does a double take)
Undisclosed Board writer: (Playing it cool not wanting to give it all away) Sure I read the Board.
Me: (bubbly, Perhaps a little too excited) You know how people ask all the time why the Board is so addicting?
Undisclosed Board writer: (Slightly curious) Yeah?
Me: (Talking probably too fast, Like when you get pulled over for the first time) I was doing some research into laughter, and this guy estimates that for every minute that you laugh your brain releases healthy chemicals, that if you were to purchase from a pharmaceutical store would cost you about $10,000. HA! (Shamelessly laughing at my own joke)
Undisclosed Board writer: (Slightly entertained, knowing that werf is releasing crucial information) Hey that is a good one, I should use that next time someone asks.
Me: (Eyes get as big as saucers, knowing that my suspicion is correct, stumbling over words) You mean that...You are...
Undisclosed Board writer: (Both werf and friend are laughing hysterically) Yup I bet you can't guess which one I am.
For the rest of the semester we talk after class about very nerdy subjects, and ridiculous hypothetically impossible questions; read each others blogs, and discuss Board questions and answers.
After this interchange, and revelation my opinion of werf is quite different. All of a sudden it doesn't matter what werf looks like. Because I don't know the identities of the thirty or so Board writers I have started to look at people completely different. Now when I see werf and place them in one of the #2 categories, I automatically think "I wonder how I would think of this person if they were a Board writer? How would I treat them, and what would I want them to think of me?" Although I don't associate with more people, I find myself treating people better in my mind. I have realized that people that I don't know have a whole different level that I cannot access unless I get to know them. So even though no Board writer reads my blog, thank you 100 Hour Board, for not only giving me millions of dollars worth of pharmaceuticals, but helping me discover that people are more than just what they appear on the outside. The 100 Hour Board is life!!

No Wind Sailing

In order to sail, you need wind. If you look closely at the picture to the right, you will clearly see the perfect glassy surface of the lake. On Vash's maiden voyage, the wind was barely enough to fill the sails; we felt like Tommy Boy out in the middle of the lake with no wind. Luckily we had oars. I would definitely recommend to anyone who is going out sailing to always have a paddle or some way to manually propel your craft. The day was beautiful...perhaps a bit too beautiful. I have no idea why, but my friend did not want to wear a life jacket--now that I think about it he doesn't wear a seatbelt either--while he is definitely over 18 years old, I would have thought him smarter than that.

Initiation into Blogging

HA! I have wanted a blog for forever, and now I finally have one. I really don't get Halloween. Wait--let me clarify. I think the person who thought up the idea to have kids go around to houses and receive candy is brilliant. What a holiday if you are a child, I remember Halloween rivaling Christmas for my favorite holiday. Not only did I get trick-or-treat candy, but our family always had some sort of wonderful food that lasted until weeks after Halloween. Back to what I don't get--Scary movies? Costumes full of blood? Nasty 'tricks' whether or not they received candy or not? Egging houses? Vandalism? Stealing little kids candy? Focusing on the evil horror that exists within humanity? What is the Deal?! Were is the fun in that? On a lighter note, I watched the The Monster House Halloween night with my wife, and I thought it was wonderful. Slightly creepish, but a great movie. I guess Halloween is a lot like everything else, it has as great of a potential for good or bad as the effort put into it.